Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
