You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
