I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
