At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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