Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize