that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
