she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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