he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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