glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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