are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
