I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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