ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
