oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
