I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize