I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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