I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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