After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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