it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
