Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
