So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
