if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize