How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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