They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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