i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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