I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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