Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize