is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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