my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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