my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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