so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she pinky promised me she was 18
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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