Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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