Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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