I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
