idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
