All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
