normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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