i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
