had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
