I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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