Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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