so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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