You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
