I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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