i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
