To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
