I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
