How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
