Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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