just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
