I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
