He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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