And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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