Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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