Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
